I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
