just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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