You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
