Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
