1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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