u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
