Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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