problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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