i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
