Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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