Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
