Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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