I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
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