Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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