I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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