i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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