I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I need a burrito and a hug.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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