Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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