so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
