i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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