He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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