So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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