PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Semen is not good for contacts.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
