He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
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He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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