That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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