All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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