Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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