In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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