He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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