I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
