No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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