I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
