Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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