Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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