I'm really into asian looking animals
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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