I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
