I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
