cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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