his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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