I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
