My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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