i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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