Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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