We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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