her vagine was all disorganized.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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