If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
