garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
