You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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