omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
