At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
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you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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