quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
