my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
