I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
