i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize