i jhust puked up my retainher.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
