I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My nipple is on Facebook.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
