Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize