Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
