Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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