He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
