why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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