youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
me + whiskey = a bad person
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
