i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize