Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My penis needs a shock collar
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
