yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
