i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I currently don't understand fingers.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
